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I BROUGHT the SUV to a stop but not directly in front of the house like I would have any other time.
On an ordinary day, I would turn into the driveway directly behind my mother’s car and risk getting fussed at for blocking her in.
But today wasn’t an ordinary day.
I wondered if I would ever have another ordinary day again.
Tears started to well in my eyes, but none fell.
I wished they would.
Even tried to force them out.
Crying a river of tears would have been preferable to what I was feeling now.
Which was absolutely nothing.
Since I had heard that shot, then the click, it felt like I was floating above myself, looking down like a passive observer as my body had moved.
Even seeing Elias had been…
I didn’t have words for it.
I’d been angry, I guessed.
Maybe hurt?
That sounded right.
But the overriding feeling had been nothing but numbness. If you could call numbness a feeling.
Even when he had argued with me.
Even when he had shown more emotion than I had never seen from him before, I was unable to react.
Intellectually, I understood that it was probably shock.
My brain’s way of giving my heart a chance to catch up.
But even that seemed distant, like some idea that existed outside of me.
One thing I could feel was the chill in the air.
I snuggled deeper into my long-sleeve shirt, but not before I remembered who had gotten it for me.
The literal shirt on my back.
It belonged to Elias.
Was one of the trinkets I had received in exchange for my father’s life.
I sat up in the seat at that thought.
Of course, that didn’t help either.
© 2024 Joseph E Tacelli (Audiobook): 9798347722143
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Audiobook: 7 December 2024
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