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Rick Gualtieri

THERE ARE REASONS WE FEAR THE NIGHT. BILL RYDER ISN’T ONE OF THEM.

Get ready to die laughing with the first FOUR novels of the hilarious Tome of Bill series – over 30 hours of epic horror comedy that will leave you gasping for more.

Gamer, geek, and vampire - Bill Ryder was a normal guy. Now he's trying to survive in a world of abnormal horrors. Despite awesome powers, surprising friends, and a Brooklyn-sized attitude; the odds are stacked against him. Bill must fulfill his destiny and save the world from the ancient terrors threatening it – all while trying to build some semblance of a social life.

BILL THE VAMPIRE

Bill Ryder was a dateless geek until he met a girl to die for - so he did. Too bad for him, that was just the beginning of his troubles.

SCARY DEAD THINGS

One of the most powerful vampires in the world wants Bill Ryder’s head. A pint-sized princess wants the rest of him. Alas, it's not clear which fate is worse.

THE MOURNING WOODS

A war is brewing between the vampires and bigfoot, ancient enemies since the dawn of time. If it can’t be stopped, the veil will be lifted and all of humanity’s darkest nightmares will be unleashed.

HOLIER THAN THOU

On the eve of war, The Icon – legendary enemy of the vampire race – has arisen. There’s just one small catch: Bill Ryder is in love with her. Panic is about to break out within the ranks of the undead and Bill is caught smack dab in the middle of it.

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Join Bill in these laugh-out-loud tales of monsters and middle-fingered mayhem. If you enjoy The Dresden Files, The Nate Temple series, or The Preternatural Chronicles, then you’ll want to sink your teeth into The Tome of Bill.

And when you're finished, be sure to check out books 5 - 8 for more of Bill's adventures.

Christopher John Fetherolf

Freewill Press

The Tome of Bill

The Tome of Bill Series - Volume 1: Books 1 - 4

THERE ARE REASONS WE FEAR THE NIGHT. HE’S NOT ONE OF THEM.

My name's Bill Ryder and I have no life – and not because I program video games or play D&D. I literally have no heartbeat thanks to the night I met Sally. She was too good to be true, a woman to die for. So I did, bleeding out on the floor with my throat torn open.

Problem is, I didn't stay dead. I’m simply not that lucky.

Now I'm a vampire, surrounded by other vamps who are stronger, faster, and a hell of a lot better looking. It's enough to give a guy a complex. Worse, their leader, a douche called Night Razor, can't stand me.

It might be because he can’t control me like he can the others. Or maybe it’s because he’s a dick. Either way, he's given me just ninety days to prove I'm not a total embarrassment to his coven. If I fail, my ass is toast.

I'll need help, though, if I want to survive. Too bad my living friends are more interested in setting me on fire while Sally’s obviously just using me to further her own agenda - whatever the hell that is. 

Needless to say, things don't look good. I may be a blood-sucking predator of the night, but somehow I'm still at the bottom of the food chain.

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Bram Stoker meets Shaun of the Dead in Bill The Vampire – book one of The Tome of Bill, the vampire comedy series that’ll leave you thirsting for more.

If you're a fan of Christopher Moore, Jason Pargin, or What We Do in the Shadows, this hilarious horror comedy will keep you entertained from dusk till dawn.

Don’t miss out on this bloody good time! Grab your copy of Bill The Vampire now and prepare to die laughing.

Content Warning: adult language, violence, gore, sophomoric humor

Bill The Vampire: A Comedy of Undead Proportions

My name is Sally. For over thirty years I’ve prowled the night, one of the undead. In that time I’ve walked amongst you – a wolf in sheep’s clothing – doing unspeakable things, killing countless people.

Now, on the eve of Armageddon, a chance for redemption presents itself. My past has come looking for me, beckoning me back to the city of my rebirth.

Those who killed me the first time are intent on finishing the job. I’m outnumbered and outgunned, but they’re sadly mistaken if they think for one second that I’m outclassed.

Unspeakable horrors, both old and new, await me in the City of Sin, but in the end they’re all going to learn one very painful lesson: Payback is a Bitch.

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Sunset Strip (a Tome of Bill adventure) is a dark vampire fantasy with a ton of attitude by bestselling fantasy author Rick Gualtieri.

Tome of Bill Series note: this story takes place between the events of Holier Than Thou and Goddamned Freaky Monsters.

Trish McKinnley

Sunset Strip: A Tome of Bill Adventure

THERE ARE REASONS WE FEAR THE NIGHT. HE STILL ISN’T ONE OF THEM.

My name’s Bill Ryder and six months ago I died. However, as you’ve probably already guessed, I didn’t stay dead. No, I woke up a vampire, freshly recruited into a coven of immortal assholes.

I thought I’d earned a break after defeating our former master, with maybe a tiny bit of help from my friends, but no such luck.

Things are getting surreal in the world of the strange. New and powerful forces are rearing their ugly heads. None of this should be my problem but, thanks to my status as a rare type of undead, our leadership has painted a target on my back by making me their poster boy.

Making matters worse, one of the most powerful vamps on the planet wants my head because his daughter, a crazed vampire princess, has decided she wants the rest of me. It’s a toss-up which fate is worse.

My only hope to survive this mess is to marshal my friends, master my powers, and somehow prove that, in a world of supernatural terrors, I’m the scariest dead thing of them all.

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Join Bill in his quest to survive the hilarious horrors of Scary Dead Things – book two of The Tome of Bill, the quintessential vampire comedy series.

Looking for a must read for fans of thrilling fantasy, gut-busting humor, and unforgettable characters? Then get your hands on Scary Dead Things now and plunge headfirst into a world where the undead are anything but dull!

Genres: Horror Comedy, Urban Fantasy, Action & Adventure

Age: 18+

Content Warning: adult language, violence, gore, sexual situations, sophomoric humor

Scary Dead Things: A Vampire Comedy Catastrophe

THREE WORDS: VAMPIRES VERSUS SASQUATCH.

My name’s Bill Ryder and, despite being undead, I program games for a living. That means I’m mostly content to stay at home, do my job, and not go on stupid-ass adventures.

Or at least that was the case.

Now, a war is brewing between ancient enemies from the dawn of time. If it can’t be stopped, the veil will be lifted and all of humanity’s darkest nightmares will be unleashed to wreak havoc. Lucky me, because somehow my friends and I are the only chance the world has of stopping it.

The leaders of the vampire nation have ordered me to the frozen woods of Canada to broker peace with an army of angry Sasquatches, but that’s not even the worst of it. Our enemies want me dead, but some of my allies do too. Danger lurks at every turn, leaving me unsure of who I can trust.

I’ll have to rely on my instincts, master my fledgling powers, and kick a little bigfoot butt in order to stop this war, uncover the conspiracy, and solve the mystery that lies at the heart of the Mourning Woods.

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Experience a hilarious adventure like never before with The Mourning Woods – book three of the bestselling Tome of Bill horror comedy series.

If you love The Dresden Files, The Rebellion Chronicles, or The Montague & Strong Case Files, then the Tome of Bill series is sure to trample your funny bone like an angry bigfoot.

Don’t miss out! Click Buy Now to join Bill Ryder on this unforgettable quest into horror hilarity today.

Genres: Horror Comedy, Urban Fantasy, Action & Adventure

Age: 18+

Content Warning: adult language, violence, gore, sexual situations, sophomoric humor

The Mourning Woods: A Vampire Comedy Bloodbath

THERE ARE REASONS THE UNDEAD FEAR THE NIGHT.

My name’s Bill Ryder and my cold dead heart is all aflutter, metaphorically speaking anyway. See, the girl I want is deadly to me. But the girl who wants me is deadly to everyone else. I’m trapped in a lethal love triangle and it’s about to get worse.

On the eve of war, The Icon – prophesized slayer of the vampire race – has appeared. Panic is about to break out within the ranks of the undead and I’m caught smack dab in the middle of it. She and I are locked in a cataclysmic collision course with destiny, but there’s just one small catch.

I’m totally in love with her.

Now I find myself in a race against supernatural assassins to save the woman fated to destroy me. Talk about being damned if you do.

Unsure of my allies and vastly outnumbered by our enemies, I’ll have to dig deep within myself and find the faith to succeed – because if I fail, it’ll be far more than just my social life that’s screwed.

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Holier Than Thou, book four in the bestselling Tome of Bill series, is a paranormal dance with death, destiny, and demonic dating life.

If you’re a fan of Hunter Blain, Christopher Moore, DM Guay, or Kevin Hearne, then you’ll want to sink your claws into this hilarious vampire comedy series today!

Genres: Horror Comedy, Urban Fantasy, Action & Adventure

Age: 18+

Content Warning: adult language, violence, gore, sexual situations, sophomoric douchebag humor, and lots of asshole monsters

Holier Than Thou: A Horror Comedy Calamity

THERE ARE REASONS WE FEAR THE NIGHT. NOW HE’S TRYING TO STOP THEM.

My name’s Bill Ryder and three months ago I was utterly consumed by the evil within me. Now I’m back, having awakened halfway across the globe, buck-ass nude and with no clue as to how I got here. The only thing I’m certain of is my captors don’t care how much blood they spill so long as they recruit me to their insane cause.

Escape might be the least of my worries, though. Civilization is teetering on the brink of chaos. Mythical monsters, once thought the stuff of legend, are breaking through the veil, intent on terrorizing mankind. At their forefront stands an ancient evil that’s about to carve a path of destruction through the world not seen since biblical times.

Oh, and did I mention that all of this is my fault? Because it kinda is.

My only chance to stop it is to reclaim my life, reconcile with my friends, and muster all the attitude I can – because if I fail then Hell on Earth will become far more than just another stupid saying.

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Goddamned Freaky Monsters is a hard-hitting vampire comedy that will keep you on the edge of your seat. Fans of The Nate Temple Series, The Dresden Files, or The Montague & Strong Case Files, will want to dive into this hysterical adventure today.

Don’t miss out on The Tome of Bill - a thrilling and hilarious escape into a world of monsters, magic, and middle fingers.

Genres: Horror Comedy, Urban Fantasy, Action & Adventure

Age: 18+

Content Warning: adult language, violence, gore, sexual situations, sophomoric humor

Goddamned Freaky Monsters: A Horror Comedy Nightmare

TERROR LURKS BELOW AND IT’S ABOUT TO SURFACE.

The end of the world is rapidly approaching, but Bill Ryder – gamer, geek, and legendary vampire – finds himself with more pressing concerns to worry about: the women in his life. Sidelined from action, he’s forced to reevaluate his feelings. Sadly for him, it’s a luxury he can ill afford.

An unstoppable terror from the dawn of time has awoken deep beneath the Earth and is headed his way. To make matters worse, he’s been deemed a traitor by those he thought to be his allies. Now he finds himself fighting off enemies from all sides while warring with his emotions. Talk about sucky timing for introspection.

As the world crumbles to pieces around him, Bill must muster his courage, master his powers, and rise to the destiny he’s been trying so long to deny – because if he doesn’t, his love life will be the least of his worries.

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Half A Prayer takes you on an action-packed journey filled with hilarious twists and spine-chilling encounters. For fans of Shayne Silvers, Jim Butcher, John P Logsdon, or Kevin Hearne, this vampire comedy series is an absolute must-read.

Don’t miss out on this thrilling rollercoaster! Click Buy Now to lose yourself in the captivating world of The Tome of Bill today.

Genres: Horror Comedy, Urban Fantasy, Action & Adventure

Age: 18+

Content Warning: adult language, violence, gore, sexual situations, sophomoric humor

Half A Prayer: A Horror Comedy Misadventure

THERE ARE REASONS WE FEAR THE NIGHT. NOW HE MUST BECOME ONE OF THEM.

Bill Ryder has a powerful destiny. He just never expected it to involve an amnesiac bloodsucker, a bunch of D&D dorks, and a hormonal witch. It’s time for the gamer, geek, and legendary vampire to embrace his fate. Ordered to storm the vampire stronghold in Boston, Bill must approach the doorstep of the invincible undead warlord he’s destined to face. It’s his only chance of stopping Armageddon.

As his enemies stand in his way and his allies falter, the vicious beast inside of him wants out. If he stands tall and faces his fate, the world might just have a chance of surviving. If he fails, an unquenchable evil will destroy everything Bill knows and loves.

Why can’t the end of the world ever be easy?

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The Wicked Dead delivers a rollercoaster ride of bloody fight scenes, geeky in-jokes, and breakneck-paced action, offering the perfect vampire must-read for the 21st-century adult. For horror comedy fans who crave humor, suspense, and unforgettable characters, this installment of The Tome of Bill series will sink its teeth straight into your heart.

Genres: Horror Comedy, Urban Fantasy, Action & Adventure

Age: 18+

Content Warning: adult language, violence, gore, sexual situations, sophomoric humor

Buy The Wicked Dead to watch this nerdy vamp fight for his life today!

The Wicked Dead: A Horror Comedy Cataclysm

THERE ARE REASONS WE FEAR THE NIGHT. HE MIGHT FINALLY BE ONE OF THEM.

A goddess returned, a war between primal powers, and a prophecy to fulfill. That’s a lot of crap to heap on anyone’s plate, much less a former programmer from Brooklyn. But that’s exactly what Bill Ryder – gamer, geek, and legendary vampire – has to deal with.

Half his friends are missing and those who are left are mired in chaos. Sadly, Armageddon isn’t about to give them a breather. The White Mother, queen of the witches, is amassing her forces to exterminate all who stand in her way. Bill must find a way to stop her army of shapeshifters from tearing the world apart, all while trying to avoid his prophesied fate of dying at the hands of the woman he loves.

It’s finally time for Bill to master his powers, sort out his relationship woes, and figure out how to survive his date with destiny. Because if he can’t get his act together, the curtain will fall and mankind will be forever plunged into everlasting darkness.

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The Last Coven delivers a monumentally sidesplitting journey full of geeky humor and Sasquatch-sized action. For horror comedy fans who crave a thrilling ride that blends laughter and suspense, this epic conclusion to The Tome of Bill series is a must-read.

Don’t miss out on this unforgettable tale of apocalyptic hilarity. Grab your copy today!

Genres: Horror Comedy, Urban Fantasy, Action & Adventure

Content Warning: adult language, violence, gore, sexual situations, sophomoric humor

The Tome of Bill - Bokserien

The Tome of Bill - Bokserien

The Tome of Bill-böckerna i ordning

Lyssna när som helst, var som helst