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#1 I grew up admiring men who were strong and in control, and I assumed that being a man meant looking strong and being in control. I was beginning to realize that Tarzan, the hero of my childhood, was never shot to death because he was invulnerable.
#2 I had to change course in my late twenties, after a relationship breakup that brought me to my knees. I began to reenter the tenderness and softness that I had so desperately fled as a boy, and found a power that served something deeper than my egocentric ambitions.
#3 The strength it takes to lose face, to soften, and to make room for our weaknesses is a strength worth cultivating. It empowers us to stand our ground when we’re emotionally shaken, without locking ourselves into our armor or fleeing our hearts.
#4 Men are often taught that stepping into their power means stepping into their softness and vulnerability, but such inclusion is a central component of what constitutes real power. The seeking of power, especially power over others, is a common trait of conventional manhood.
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